But you—you have a good face. I was stupid—stupid and impulsive beyond measure to burst upon you in this way. You must let me take you to things—to meetings and things, to conferences and talks. But in that case, why the raging jealousy about Madame having taken her place. You will never be happy with this hanging over you. ‘You have said you do not wish to hurt me. It feels like too much gold-dust clutched in one’s hand. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. Michelle burst into laughter, followed by John, who almost spit up his cola. He had need of all the inexhaustible energy of his character to support him through his toilsome walk over the wet grass, or along the slippery ploughed land.
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