It was enough that she witnessed it and could not go to him. One main avenue was for her to become a sort of salaried accessory wife or mother, to be a governess or an assistant schoolmistress, or a very high type of governess-nurse. There was a little pause between them, full for Ann Veronica of rapid elusive suspicions and intimations. We think the whole thing is straight and noble at bottom, and it isn’t. For she and this old lady became at once friends. I can’t forget about your sister. Part of her even believed that her mother would have wanted her to stop feeling guilty and to be happy. Somewhere in the world there was a book clerk with a discerning mind; for he had given her the best he had. Was it that the struggle of things to survive produced as a sort of necessary byproduct these intense preferences and appreciations, or was it that some mystical outer thing, some great force, drove life beautyward, even in spite of expediency, regardless of survival value and all the manifest discretions of life? She went to Capes with that riddle and put it to him very carefully and clearly, and he talked well—he always talked at some length when she took a difficulty to him—and sent her to a various literature upon the markings of butterflies, the incomprehensible elaboration and splendor of birds of Paradise and hummingbirds’ plumes, the patterning of tigers, and a leopard’s spots. It troubled her conscience a little, but Melusine had learned well of Leonardo and she trusted his word Besides, no one could expect that a jeune demoiselle, in a foreign land, might carry out quite alone the difficult task with which she was faced.
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